Blameless

By the part who's fed up

Sexual Assault is the most prevalent yet the most underreported crime in the world. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and as a multiple-time survivor of sexual assault and an advocate for other survivors, I want to share statistics and a poem to illustrate how something so serious, painful, and life-threatening is often misunderstood and minimized.

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the U.S. have experienced rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men experience some form of contact sexual violence.
• Every 68 seconds, someone from the United States is sexually assaulted.
• The majority of survivors know their perpetrator. Most are men, and 1 in 4 identified alleged perpetrators were acquitted or never charged.

These numbers represent real stories of real people. As survivors, we often don’t report sexual violence because we are not believed and silenced through stigma, coercion, and control.

Here’s a poem from my heart to challenge hurtful and harmful narratives around sexual assault:

a brief lapse in judgment

a misunderstanding

there’s not enough evidence

of what you are claiming

*

with me he’s respectful

a true gentleman

he’s not inappropriate

wouldn’t hurt anyone

**

he’s gentle and nice

been helpful and kind

he denies it all

must have been the wine

***

it’d be such a shame

to hinder his potential

what happened is unfortunate

but quite inconsequential

****

there’s a chance he’s innocent

and if it happened just that once

since it’s very unlike him

she might have led him on

*****

i mean, look at his legacy

it speaks for itself

he was probably confused

needs our prayers and help

******

and by the way she’s responding

and the way that she dressed

we can tell she’s to blame

*******

and why come forward now

seems convenient, calculated

seeking money or attention

he must be vindicated

********

and she should learn to let go

and stop acting a victim

cancel culture is toxic

God says she should forgive him

---

We need Awareness, Action, and Access to support, services, and safety. We need systems that provide protection and resources in crisis. And here’s another A: Accountability.

Survivors: You are not alone. You are whole. You deserve to be seen, safe, and supported. I believe you!

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